and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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