remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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