last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize