he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
two words: eviction party
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
