Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
