you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
