one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
