If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
