check it out our google latitudes are spooning
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
tequila makes me forget i have legs
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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