Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the day after is always just damage control
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
