You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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