Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
