Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
try to milk me bitch
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