Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
