i permit you to call me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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