he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
