this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
then he tried to convert me to islam
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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