walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
