I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
