what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I touched a dick in church today
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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