My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
