i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
