Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
