My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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