I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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