Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
