So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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