I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
