And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
