i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
