Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize