and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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