i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
