why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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