I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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