I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
