someone get that fucking seahorse.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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