No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize