hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
