Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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