please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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