When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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