well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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