I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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