i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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