Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize