just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
