so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
