he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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