He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
