The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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