I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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