btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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