Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
two words...techno handjob
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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