I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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