so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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