Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Buhtt sex?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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