Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
