I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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