she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
soo... how was my night?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
