your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
