ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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